Confidence & Self-esteem
Our level of confidence and belief in ourselves, can have a huge impact on our overall well-being. Which in turn can have a significant impact, eventually, on even developing certain illnesses or preventing us from reaching our full potential.
Our self-esteem is a most important element of who we are. Basically speaking, esteem is the way that we value, love, relate and think about someone.
If we have good esteem for someone we will treat them with more care and give them the respect that they deserve. This applies also to us and our self-esteem.
Our self-esteem emerges during childhood and is developed and nurtured from then onwards, right throughout our lives. It can be influenced very often by others but also ourselves in the way that we relate to ourselves.
For me as a therapist working on self-esteem is one of the reasons that I became a psychologist, as I feel that it is something that we need to be doing - constantly working on same right throughout our life. I personally have to work on my own self-esteem everyday – otherwise it would not be to the level that is required in order for me to live the life I am meant to live.
Reasons that we can develop low self-esteem can include:
Disapproving Parents
Bullying
Trauma
Negative Self-talk.
Difficulties in education
Setting standards too high.
The reaction to all the above can lead us in turn to have low esteem for ourselves = Low Self-esteem. And yes, people can keep us like this – but we can also do same to ourselves, by the way that we talk, think and treat ourselves.
As a result of same we do not accept that we are as good as others and maybe better than most. But in fact. we engrain the belief that we are not good enough, so we will live our lives, very often, feeling this way. And then we wonder why we feel depressed or anxious. This then becomes a way of living for us and the belief that we are not worthy of what we have or have become in life and not good enough, to do better. We might have high esteem in certain areas of our lives and in other areas it might be low.
A person that comes to therapy, can change their self-esteem and increase same. The benefits of same can be huge. Where the person will feel so much better about themselves. As a result, they will feel worthy of all that life offers them. And when they face challenges or setbacks, they will treat themselves with compassion and love and have the belief in themselves that they will move forward again, in life.
If you have any comments on the above please contact me as shown below.
Thanks for reading
Dr Dermot Casey
Counselling Psychologist, Cork, Ireland.