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  • Writer's pictureDr Dermot Casey


Our whole life is one big relationship. From the moment we are born to the moment that we pass we are always in relationship.

These relationships can be with activities like our jobs, or hobbies, playing golf. They can be with material objects like a watch or car and these can become very special to us.

However, the most important type of relationships that we have are with other humans.

If our whole life is about relationships and we are constantly in relationship, it is inevitable that like all aspects of our lives they will not at all times run smoothly. At times we need to come and talk about the ones that are not working for us or that are causing us most distress at this moment in time.

Like all close relationships they will have good times and not so good times. At certain times we might run into a pattern of behaviour that we do not realize we are engaged in anymore, that might not be working for us or the person we are in a relationship with. The result of same is that we will very often feel anxious or depressed as a result of this. This is the time that we need to come and talk to someone about it. As we might need to process same with someone else.

A lot of a therapists' time is taken up on certain relationships that are not working anymore for the client, as mentioned above. However, the relationship that is worked on most in therapy is the relationship with yourself.

Yes, the most important relationship that we all have is the one with our self.

Why you might ask, and the way that I answer this is to say, we are with ourselves (in relationship) twenty-four hours of the day, each day of our life. We are also the ones that know most about us and we are the only ones that can change same. We are also the ones that only truly know how we are feeling and what we can do, based on our current context, to change the way that we feel or parts of our lives to improve the relationship with ourselves.

"If you do not have a good relationship with yourself. It will be much harder to have a good relationship with others." - Dermot Casey -

If you have any comments on the above please contact me as shown below.

Thanks for reading

Dr Dermot Casey

Counselling Psychologist, Cork, Ireland.


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